KNS · Topic 4 · 8 questions · about 11 minutes · Free
Omgangsvormen in Nederland
In the Netherlands people care a lot about appointments, being on time and speaking openly. You will learn how to behave when you meet people, visit someone, at birthdays and at work.
In a new country the unwritten rules are as important as the laws. In the Netherlands people are generally organised, punctual and direct. These habits are not meant to be rude, but to make things easier for everyone.
In this topic you will learn about making appointments, arriving on time, customs when meeting people and at birthdays, and everyday relations in which women and men are equal. The KNS exam often has questions about situations like these; the right answer is often 'let people know in advance' and 'be on time'.
In the Netherlands many things are planned in advance and written in a diary (agenda): the doctor, the municipality, school, even visiting a friend. Even when you visit a friend or relative, it is common to send a message first and ask Komt het uit? (Is it convenient?). Knocking on the door without warning is not very usual.
You arrive at an appointment exactly on time. If you are going to be late, you call or send a message in advance. If you can't come, you cancel the appointment in time (afzeggen). You are usually expected to cancel appointments with the doctor or dentist at least one day before; some practices may charge a fee for a missed appointment.
These phrases come up every day in daily life. In formal situations and with adults you don't know you use u, with friends and children je.
| Situation | Dutch | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| Meeting someone | Hallo, ik ben Mehmet. | Hello, I'm Mehmet. |
| At a birthday | Gefeliciteerd! | Congratulations! / Happy birthday! |
| Starting a meal | Eet smakelijk! | Enjoy your meal! |
| Someone is ill | Beterschap! | Get well soon! |
| Saying thank you | Dank u wel. / Dank je wel. | Thank you. |
| Leaving | Tot ziens! / Doei! | See you! / Bye! |
Dutch people usually say directly what they think: Dat vind ik geen goed idee. (I don't think that's a good idea.) This is not rude; speaking openly is seen as honesty. You can also politely say 'no' and give your opinion. A clear answer is appreciated more than a vague 'maybe'.
Women and men are equal. Your boss, doctor or teacher may be a woman; you treat her with the same respect as anyone else. When you first meet, it is common to shake hands with both women and men and to make eye contact. There is little hierarchy at work; in most places it is normal to call your manager by their first name.
These sentences are useful when you make an appointment, on a visit and at work. Repeat them by reading them out loud.
Birthdays (verjaardag) are often celebrated at home. Guests sit in a circle (de kring) in the living room, and coffee and cake are served. When you arrive, you congratulate everyone; not only the person whose birthday it is, but also their family: Gefeliciteerd met je man! (Congratulations on your husband's birthday!)
Dutch people eat dinner early, usually around 18.00. If you have not been invited for dinner, it is better not to go at that time, or to leave. In a restaurant it is normal for everyone to pay for themselves or to split the bill. Sinterklaas on 5 December is a family celebration where especially children get presents.
In some countries, visiting without warning and being a little late are often no problem. In the Netherlands, however, an unannounced visit and being late without letting people know can be seen as disrespectful. The right way: ask first, go on time, and let people know if you will be late.
Asking someone you don't know well about their salary, age, religion or why they have no children is also not appreciated; people value their private life (privacy). And when a Dutch person simply says 'no' to you, don't think they are angry; it is just a clear answer.
U heeft om 10.00 uur een afspraak bij de gemeente. U staat in de file en komt te laat. Wat doet u?
You have an appointment at the municipality at 10.00. You are stuck in traffic and will be late. What do you do?
Punctuality is important in the Netherlands. If you are going to be late, you let them know in advance; maybe your appointment can be moved to another time.
U heeft om 10.00 uur een afspraak bij de gemeente. U staat in de file en komt te laat. Wat doet u?